Awkward Situations and Random Conversations

These are a series of random conversations that I have had with people over time. As my tag line says "Only the Truth is Funny" it is clear that you can't make up certain things or conversations that are really funny they just happen randomly.






GOING DUTCH:

Friend: Hey I met this woman online and we get along great.


Dan: Did you find out much about her? What is she like?

Friend: She manages a retail clothing store...didn't say which one. We talked about meeting and she said she was willing to go "Dutch" so I said sure. I don't know what that means though?

Dan: It means she's into all that dutch stuff like chocolates and more important you need to wear some wooden shoes.

Friend: Damn where do I find those?

Dan: Google it.


SEX AT LUNCH:

It was about 11:30 AM and as is the custom in many offices coworkers will ask each other what they plan to do for lunch. Normally this is a pretty mundane exercise until one day...

Dan: (said to female coworker) What are you doing for lunch today?

Coworker: I am going to get some Sex

Knowing that this is a young coworker in her 20's and that the times are much different I figured ok it's not what we did when I was younger but who am I to judge.
Dan: So where do you go for this? (said with a puzzled look on my face)

Coworker: It's a place on 3rd and Thomas, it's really good you should try it.

Dan: So how does that work do you have to call ahead or do you just show up?

Coworker: I usually call ahead so it's ready for me when I get there.

At this point I was a little concerned about what the world had come to and what the future was going to hold for our children.

Coworker: Do you want me to bring something back for you? Coworker #2 is going also.

Ok coworker #2 is probably over 55 so now I know the generation before me and the generation after me are all onboard with this seemingly Low Carb alternative to the traditional lunch time fare.

And exactly how would you "bring something back" for me. At this point the coworker wondered why I had this strange look on my face. It was at that point she realized that what she was describing needed a more definitive pronunciation. A minute of awkward silence and laughter ensued as we each retreated to our work spaces with red faces.

Coworker: No we are going to SACKS the sandwich place.









"Going out to get some 40's"

One day years ago a coworker and I were leaving the office we decided to stop in our bosses office. We were checking in and sort of summarizing what we were working on and the status of our current projects. Here is the exchange that occurred...

Boss: Hey what are you guys doing after work...are you going to go out and get some 44 ouncers?

Coworker: No I am probably going home to see my kids.

At this point both us gave a look to each other trying to figure out what a 44 ouncer was.


We know what a "40 ouncer" is. We thought maybe we didn't watch the movie "Friday" closely enough and missed some new pop culture terminology.


It was at that point that we realized that our boss had confused a 40 ouncer (a malt liquor primarily consumed in the inner cities) with a "44" ouncer which technically would be a big gulp from 7-11. We believe our boss was thinking of a 44 Magnum.







It took all the inner strength in both of us not to break out in hysterical laughter...